The Lily of the Valley
by Sritama Sen
Summary: A quiet wood. A little girl. A tattered journal. Old memories. And an enigmatic shadow hovering over it all. All that Harry has of his Mother are memories. All that he can do is to bring them together. And find out the truth behind the lily of the valley.
1. If Wishes were Horses

-1-

**When I was about eleven, I developed an uncanny notion that I was simply different from other kids. Not unique, just different. Like when I didn't feel amazed at the sight of the rose plant in my backyard wilt under my gaze. The sudden coldness I felt at times (removed, strangely enough, by a big bar of chocolate.) Or when I could see -unlike most kids- black winged horses, almost reptilian in their silkiness, flying across the sky at nighttime. I had read about kids of course, kids who were special, kids who remembered all about their past life, kids with unnatural talent-'prodigies' they were called. But a kid who sees winged creatures in the dark? Definitely not normal. **

**I would put the question to my Maman and she would say, "My girl tells such pretty stories, does she not? But of course, I know why… You could become a writer, my love."**

"**But it's true, Maman, I really saw them. Horses with wings like lizards…"**

"**My love, that's enough of that, Maman needs to sleep, she's tired."**

"**You are not listening."**

**Maman would sigh." My dear, we have talked about this before. Your sixth sense, eh? Give it a rest." **

"**But I …"**

"**Good Night, sleep tight, don't let the bugs bite."**

"**Oh **_**fine**_**. Good night, then Maman. I am sure Petu…."**

**She smiled. **_**I don't think Petunia will**_**, that smile seemed to say. Kissed me. Closed the door.**

**And I would be left in a dark space of my own, with dissatisfaction, curiosity and the feeling that I had revealed myself something. What? Those winged horses- fantastic as they sounded? My own eyes, lying to me?**

**No-a sentence: **_**"But of course, I know why." **_

**My sister- elder by two and a half years- Petunia scrunched up her dark eyes, frowning. "What do you mean, you saw a flying horse?"**

"**Really big, sister. They looked like-" I shivered. It was creepy to think of them in the dark-" **_**ghosts**_**? Anyway, they were really scary!"**

"**Pretty."**

"**I swear."**

"**Really, Lily." It wasn't a question.**

"**Why wouldn't you believe me?!" I was frustrated.**

"**Who says I don't believe you? My little sister saw a flying horse in the night sky. That's right. Oh no, sorry. I'm sorry. **_**Lizards**_**, weren't they? Lizard-like horses? Or maybe horse-like lizards? Anyway, you would get near neither. You are a namby-pamby baby who imagines things, a frea-…"**

"**DON'T CALL ME A FREAK!"I screamed. Tears stung my eyes, even as my mind went:**_** Don't you worry, Lily…she's just being herself. That's typically how Petunia is. Mean and mocking. She can't help herself!**_

**Of course I **_**was **_**scared of lizards (who aren't?) but not horses. That was a white lie. Horses are so beautiful; it's **_**she**_** who's scared of them, **_**she**_** who vehemently detested their agility, their beautifully arched necks, their shivering coats of silk. She loved to say-as she always did-"They are filthy beasts. They have **_**so **_**many germs on them. Stand back, wouldn't you, Lily?"**

**For my sister had absolutely nothing when it came to dreaming, to see the beauty in things. She failed to realize that there was a life out there, beyond her overstuffed dollhouse and silly little tea-parties(from which, I was fortunate enough to be always excluded), beyond the suffocating blue-tiled walls of Evan's Place-a life in the rolling, lush grassy meadows and the woods behind our house. A life full of luxury, but not the luxury of silk and lace and diamonds. No. It was the luxury of the woods, of a life full of new surprises; a life lived at par with the trees and birds alike. The luxury of a life lived amidst nature.**

**Petunia failed to see all this. For her, a life well-lived comprised of strawberries for breakfast, meat-pies for tea, lots of fluffy flouncy silken dresses, ribbons aplenty and a blond-haired, blue-eyed doll which squeaked when pressed. She failed to see how a sparkling stream, a redbreast and a couple of woodland creatures gave me such pleasure.**

**And I thought **_**I**_** was supposed to be the freak.**

"**What happened?" she asked now, somewhat contritely. "Cat got your tongue?"**

**I flopped down on the bed, maintaining the injured silence. After a while, I heard her sighing and slipping into her bed as well. Some time before daybreak, I fell asleep. And dreamt of those luminous, flying horses.**_** "Come with us Lily,"**_** they rasped.**_** "We'll take you somewhere where you belong. Not here."**_


	2. The Blossoming

-2-

**My mother Maman had an obsession with flowers, especially woodland ones. Everything about them -from their fragility to their delicately-shaped petals, from their exuberant fragrance to the slightly sticky, sweet sap that oozed out from them- was an object of wonder and amazement for her. I remember myself thinking I had stepped into an arbor when I came down for breakfast- the sunflower-print tablecloth, the gerberas in the silver-vase, the curtains with delicate floral prints and the rose motifs on the tiles, walls and every single piece of furniture in the Evans' Place living room. Maman herself looked like a flower- wispy, fairy-faced and eyes as peerless blue as cornflowers. Papa had met her in France-interestingly, in a garden itself: the Chateaux. She had been standing under a wall heavy with red roses. "And then, I fell for this 'flower-girl'," he would joke. I remembered how Maman blushed as he recounted their old memories. "I would tell myself, it is a flower you love, not a woman." **

**Needless to say, it was Maman who had christened my sister-and later, me-after her favorite blossoms. Petunia, like the lovely, brittle, petunia clusters with pink, red or purple striped petals. Lily, like the lily-of-the-valley, that enchanting flower adorning the lace mantilla of many a countryside bride. Maybe, she had the blind hope that we, like her, would turn out to be as picture-perfect as our names suggested- flowery, pretty, giggly and girlie-girl.**

**Poor Maman.**

**Petunia came the nearest to fulfilling Maman's 'perfect daughter' image but fell flat where the beauty thing was concerned. She was tall and bony, with a somewhat longish face which could be-after a fashion-pleasant, but for the most resembled a horse, preferably one that's been deprived of meals for several days on end. Jokes like, "She's the dark horse of the family," were in extremely poor taste around her. Long, dark hair framed her pointed chin, long nose and thin lips- a disorienting resemblance to my father. It would have been bad enough, but add to that a constant sauciness of manner, and she was just about unbearable. **

**In stark contrast to Petunia's country-lass appearance, I would strike you as somewhat exotic. I didn't look like her at all; neither did I resemble my parents. I had long red hair, (bordering on the ****colour**** of mahogany) dimpled cheeks and my one beauty, my almond-shaped bright green eyes. My mother told me that her sister-my aunt ****Miera, who died young****-looked like me. I suppose so. After we had moved into Evans', rumors that I was really an adopted child-someone had suggested an illicit affair- had done regular rounds. **_**("How can a redhead be born into a**__**family where everyone is dark?")**_**Now, however people had outgrown those theories, as I had outgrown getting bothered by them. However I still remained-by an unknown code of conduct-the freak at Evan's Place, 34 Spinner's End.**

"**Your Maman told me. Winged horses. Very innovative," commented Father at breakfast.**

**I felt a flush creep down my neck." You don't believe me," I said flatly, reaching for the toast.**

"**You see, he's not a **_**freak**_**," observed Petunia, grinning over her glass of juice." Speaking of which, why did you howl out last night? I thought you're,"-viciously quoting me- , "beyond caring what I said?" **

"**I am," I lied.**

"**Then why…"**

"**Girls, girls." Maman busied herself spreading marmalade on my bread.**

"**Yeah. Why squabble first thing in the morning?" Father demanded.**

"**She started," we said and instantly scowled at each other. Father grinned.**

**Maman stared unseeingly out of the window, looking down the street. "There's a new family at Spinner's End," she said. "Husband, wife, child. Bit reticent. Not used to small-town life. Maybe hand-shy, but okay. I met the woman at market. Didn't seem too eager to converse."**

"**Arrogant?'' Petunia suggested.**

"**No, no, **_**reticent**_** I said."**

"**What's reticent?" I asked. **

"**Not talkative, quiet." Father supplied.**

"**In short, freaks like you." added Petunia.**

"_**Petu-"**_

"**Ok, ok, sorry."**

**I looked down scowling, at my plate. "And the child, is it a girl?"**

"**No. A boy. About your age. Some uncommon name. Sev- something."**

"**Shall we see him at school?" I demanded.**

"**Probably."**

"**Hah, if he's a freak like you, then you both can roam around pretending-"**

"**SHUT UP, PETUNIA," I could feel that terrible anger possessing me yet again. Why couldn't she leave me be? I stood up -determined to get to the peace of my room-when a scorching heat seemed to burn my eyes, thence my fingertips- and before I could stop it, it had gushed out of my body, leaving me breathless.**

"**PETUNIA!" screamed Maman, horrified.**

**I turned around, gasped. Petunia was lying on the ground, a walnut-sized bump on her head. She stood up sobbing, and pointed at me." It's she, Mum," she blabbed. "She did it."**

**I was shocked and annoyed." I was here, Maman, all the time. She's sitting on the other end. How could I've pushed her?"**

"**SHE DID IT!" Petunia screamed, looking more horsy than ever." I always said she's a freak! She did something and I fell!"**

"**Now, dear-" Father reasoned.**

**But I had lost it too." Yes, maybe you are right. Know what, sister? You'd deserved it too."**

"**YOU'RE FREAK! YOU'RE A FREAK!" Petunia barked, evidently taking a mean pleasure in taunting me.**

"**Lily, honey, let's not get-" Maman looked thoroughly harassed. Both she and father did.**

"**I'm leaving," I made my exit through the garden gate. Once out I broke into tears as well. When the worst of it was over, I returned and there were no further squabbles over the freak at the Evans' Place over breakfast.**

**School was dreary as usual, if not more unbearable. Thanks to Petunia, almost everyone knew that her freakish younger sister had thrown a tantrum over winged horses last night. Many boys of my class jeered at me as I passed the corridor pelting comments, like, "Where's the unicorn, babe?" or, "Hey, I saw them' flying horses too and they told me to inform you that you're a **_**FREAK**_** !" **

**I passed through the whole ordeal bravely enough, (especially after recess when a sixth-grader boy asked me to prove that I had indeed jinxed my sister- and I punched out his wits) waiting for that last, much-needed bell. When school let out, Petunia and I went our separate ways- her, to a friend's place (mostly the tea-party group) and me, as usual to the woods and the adjoining meadows.**

**The woods behind our house were the only interesting thing in this drab, sleepy little countryside. They were dark, mysterious and alive within, teeming with the creatures of the wild. There was a brook deeper in the woods, which housed many fantastic creatures. It was there that I went now, taking care not to tread on any delicate flower-bush on the way.**

**I sat on a leaf-strewn bit of rock, letting my eyes take in the expanse of pure, pristine greenery. This was surely, the best kind of life. My thoughts trailed to something my father had once said, "**_**Green is the most soothing color".**_** It made sense, too. Wasn't green the most beautiful color? I had always preferred it to the shocking brightness of pink or the loud alarming crimson red. The intoxicating, fragrant green of lemon-trees, the pale-green of junipers, the dark, brooding green of the oaks, murky blue-green river water and the emerald green of my own eyes merged with harmony…**

**My thoughts trailed off yet again and settled over the row at breakfast. What had happened to me? Sure, Petunia was mean- but I had never come unhinged so quickly. Was I overreacting over the horse-matter? Or was it simply that evil word 'freak'? And who had pushed her, anyway? Clearly, someone had. I thought of that strange hotness behind my eyes and shivered. **_**Think, think of something pleasant**_**….**

**A lily. Just by itself, a single suspended blossom floating on the brook-water. I snapped out of my reverie and ran to the stream. But the lily was gone, floating downstream into the darker parts of the wood.**

**I sighed, clasping my palm tightly. We hadn't had any lilies in our garden that year. I really loved those flowers, having always felt a kinship with them.**

**There was a dampness in my palm now and a sticky sensation of having brought down my hand on slush. Frowning, I brought my palm closer to my face and unfurled my fingers. Gasped.**

**There, lying, upon my palm, as wee and delicate as a string, was a single blooming flower. A lily.**

**Not simply crushed, or dead. An alive blooming lily sitting on my palm, giving forth two tiny leaves.**

**I closed my palm and grinned. **_**You win Petunia,**_ **I thought. **_**I am a freak indeed.**_


	3. Revealed

-3-

**Nighttime. The eeriest time at Spinner's End. The rusty windmill of the Kaisers' Factory heaved and groaned with the sudden nocturnal gust, which brought with it the smell of the dirty river behind the factory. It wasn't actually a river, so much as a canal meant for the paint residues of Kaisers'. Empty metallic tin cans, **

**fish spines and paper wrappings mingled with grease, sludge and dead animals. The brownstone houses slept, awaiting morning. Only I stayed up, gazing out of my window into the distant woods.**

**I had not summoned the courage to tell Maman, Father (heaven forbid, **_**Petunia**_**) or ANYONE about my…what? Abnormality? It was a bit scary, albeit **_**interesting**_** to have a flower, a lily sprouting on my palm. Or even to give my elder sister a licking when she needed it- and to get away with it. (seriously, they couldn't have believed I did it with my eyes, did they?) But wasn't it unusual? Wasn't it well-**_**freaky**_**? I decided it would be my secret. But before that, I needed to make sure that it was real. That it was not an illusion, a lovely dream. Or a **_**coincidence**_**, as Petunia would say. I shivered in the dark to think of what she would do if she found out my secret. ("YOU'RE A FREAK!")Oh, well. Here she was, snoring beside me. **

**I threw off my bedcovers and stood barefoot on the cold floor, shivering a little. Closed my eyes. Waited.**

**Slowly, very slowly, a steady warmth filled my fist. Through the gaps between my fingers, I detected an orange glow. I opened my fist taking care not to scream, not to get blown away by the enormity of it all.**

**A small flame, a **_**flame**_**, was crackling on my palm. It did not scorch me; it felt rather like sipping hot chocolate slowly. A lovely, warm feeling spread through my veins, neither the burning brilliance like I had felt in the morning, nor the hesitant coolness I witnessed in the woods at noon… but comforting, satisfying. Like perhaps the first rays of the sun or the warmth of the fireplace at winter.**

**I felt I was capable of miracles.**

**Somewhere, a shutter flicked. A fox scampered down the river, looking hungry.**

**And then, I saw it. Saw something which filled me with dread.**

**Someone was watching me. Someone at the window by the street. Whoever it was had seen the flame on my palm all too clearly. Before I had the time to duck, the person had gone and the blinds were drawn. I felt like I had swallowed a rock. My secret was exposed-or was it? Had the person been able to believe his eyes? Petunia wouldn't, I knew that. Then again, she wasn't the best example of human behavior I knew of.**

**Ransacked with fear and at the same time, an expectant thrill at the second miracle, I returned to my bed, forcing out all dreams for the night. **

**When the bell rang for the day, I didn't wait, heading straight for the woods. I ran into the welcoming green shadows, not stopping till I reached the brook. I removed my shoes, wading into the gurgling water, at home with the woods and the life they harbored within.**

**As I came out of the water, heading for my favorite rock, I spotted a cluster of flowers with long petals, chalice-shaped, still half-closed. Madonna's cups. Brilliant. I took a look around, not really expecting anyone, just for good measure.**

_**Open,**_** I ordered the flowers noiselessly, the imperative coming from my head. **_**Open up now.**_

**There wasn't a breath of wind, yet as I watched, delighted, the flowers swayed as though in dance and began unfurling steadily. Then, in fascinating coordination with the movement of my eyes, they began furling again.**

"**It's hurting them. Please stop that."**

**I spun around, heart plummeting. For a dreadful second, I thought it was Petunia. But then I realized that Petunia couldn't care less for flowers' feelings, and anyway the voice was that of a boy…so it wasn't she. I spun around, looking for the unknown speaker.**

"**I'm here, **_**before**_** you." **

**I turned back again and gave a gasp. There was a little clearing near the juniper cluster, and beneath it sat a young boy, nine or ten like me. He was very pale, with dark hair and even darker eyes and stood about a head taller than me. He had probably been there for a long time, I had not noticed him.**

"**Did you-" I stopped, half-afraid of revealing more than was intended. "Did you see what I did?"**

"**Yes", he replied. There was a rather awkward pause during which we simply stared at each other, and I wondered whether he was mad or dangerous or simply stupid to realize what had happened. Then I realized he probably felt the same about me. "I saw you yesterday too. You…you are not, well, **_**normal.**_**"**

**I stared at him stupidly, understanding, not understanding. "It was**_** you**_** I saw yesterday!" I gasped. The face at the window! Of course. It had been silly to forget it. I looked at him again, at his sallow face and black eyes. If I hadn't been able to spot him in the blazing light of noon, it was highly unlikely that I would do so at nighttime.**

**He flushed right to the roots of his hair, looking abashed. "I'm sorry, didn't mean to pry. I was just…well, you know-**_**watching**_**-I-I –mean that I was just looking out of**_** my**_** window when **_**I **_**saw **_**you**_**. It was in that way. And then I saw the f-flame and it was absolutely-absolutely **_**fabulous.**_** Which is why I came to meet you, in the-" he looked up at the trees above my head-"in this place. To tell you that I liked you."**

"**Sorry?" I said.**

**He became even redder and looked at his toes. "Liked your **_**work**_** I mean. It was amazing, very beautiful and-and-and I was delighted to watch it. And there you have it," he finished triumphantly.**

**I smiled. "Really?" This was better, **_**much **_**better than my parents' reaction, ("It's high time she paid attention to studies. Her imagination's **_**wild"**_**) or Petunia's. ("FREAK!") At least someone knew what I could do… and well,**_** liked**_** me for it. **

"**Really". He smiled; nothing forced or tolerant about it.**

"**Brilliant!" I exclaimed. "I can do tons of other things, I can grow flowers on my palm, if I get angry, a force within me comes gushing out, I even see horses**_**, winged**_** horses at night. I can show you, but you must promise not to tell my elder sister, Petunia's her name, she's the biggest tell-tale you have ever…."**

"**It's nice to meet you too. My name's Severus. I live down the street from your house. Number 37. With my-um- parents."**

**I looked at his grinning face and feeling a bit embarrassed held out my hand. "Lily. Drop in any time if you're bored…you're new, aren't you?"**

**Some of his initial embarrassment returned. "Yes."**

**We walked along the path to the back of my house. As I reached our garden-gate, I turned around. "Maman-that's my mother-she would like to meet you. She saw your mother at the market but didn't get to talk."**

**He looked a bit uncomfortable, but smiled. "Thanks, but I would rather leave. My parents are-well-they're expecting me. Maybe some other time. " he looked longingly at our house.**

"**We'll tell them you were with us. No big deal."**

"**No really, I must leave."**

"**Well, if you **_**have **_**to." I pushed the gate open and walked in.**

**As I went up the steps he backed, smiling. "Bye, Lily. It's been, well, **_**nice**_** knowing you. Haven't met many people who are like you…not**_** normal**_**."**

"**You make it sound as though I'm abnormal," I said frowning a little.**

"**And you make it sound as though being so is a bad thing."**

**And then he was gone the way he had come, down the leafy path.**

"**He sounds nice," Maman said, over supper that night. "A bit peculiar, but nice."**

"**He's too," I said pondering upon this newfound discovery. "What's the last name, again?"**

"**Snape-and that's the fifth time, young lady," Father observed.**

"**You should be more careful," sneered Petunia. What kind of a girlfriend forgets her lover's…-?"**

"**Petunia, for **_**heaven's **_**sake, honey, **_**don't**_** do that," Maman said.**

"**What guy falls for **_**me**_** when beauties like you're around, sister?" I asked sweetly.**

**Petunia, snickering, shut up. I looked out of the window. I didn't mind her anymore. I had a friend, who liked me not **_**in spite**_** of my freakishness, but **_**because**_** of it. And I was determined to meet him again. Perhaps in the woods. Perhaps at my place, or maybe even **_**his**_**.**

**But little did I know how I'd meet Severus Snape the next time.**


	4. Unfurling

-4-

"…**and that's how we mark the centre-a **_**single**_** red spot, mind you, not more, not less. Don't go overboard with great blotches. Now…Miss Evans?"**

**I snapped to attention. Mr. Walter looked sternly at me. "Not daydreaming again, I hope?"**

**Rising gingerly, I looked down upon the sea of faces in the classroom and blushed. I had indeed let my mind wander-as usual-to the woods and an unplanned trip to the darker regions. I was tired of the same rocky riverbank, the same flowers and the same willows. It would be nice to venture into unexplored territories…**

**Mr. Walter rapped the ruler, annoyed, on the desk. "Ah, Lily, Lily. I've taught at this school for **_**fifteen**_** years. You are the only person whom I haven't been able to knock sense into. Just a **_**little **_**more attention in class, you've the smarts too….."**

**Blah, blah, blah. His voice droned on. I nodded along for a while, then gradually lost interest-especially because I knew the lines he'd take-how illustrious, industrious, intelligent and informative my sister was, why couldn't I be like her, my parents' expectations and his as well.**

**Outside, a warbler flitted before the frosted glass. Somewhere, a gramophone was playing.**

"**Happy birthday!"**

**I rubbed my eyes blearily and looked at Petunia. She grinned at me. "Rise and shine, sleepyhead. We can't wait to see what you got-well obviously I know what I gave-but the others…"**

**The floor felt like frost when I slipped out from my bed. It was too cold, cold even for January. The sky was overcast….definitely not my favorite birthday weather. As I made my way downstairs I felt like I was treading on ice.**

**The table in the living room was awash in presents and flowers. Bulky packages wrapped in shiny gift-paper, greetings and hothouse bouquets almost blinded me. **

**Maman and Father were waiting too. "Happy Birthday! Oh my, our baby's eleven! Lily, Lily, lovely Lily," Maman crooned as she planted a kiss on my forehead.**

"**Let's see what I got," I exclaimed, excitedly, pulling out some packages from the mound on the table. Motioning to Petunia to follow me upstairs, I ran to my room.**

**I had had a seriously good haul that year. Bypassing the more boring gifts from well-wishing aunts (read money, girly dresses…) I snatched at a package I knew to be from our neighbor, the kind, stout, . I did not know him that much, save he liked tinned pineapple, always wore weirdly flamboyant robes and had a job in a faraway city where he stayed most of his time-except sometime in the August-September stretch. When he returned for the holidays to his place (his wife had died five years back) he often paid us visits, a Santa full of goodwill (and without that beard). He had especially taken a liking to me and sat with me for a long time, asking about my likes, my dislikes and school. "Your eyes have magic about them, Lily," he'd say. This came to my mind now as I ripped open his package. **_**Sure,**_** I thought, **_**he wasn't all wrong there.**_

"**Hey!" Petunia exclaimed with delight as I took out his present, a glass ball. "He's sent you a crystal ball for Astrology!" She got up and ran downstairs to tell Maman. Typical.**

**But it wasn't really a crystal ball. When I set my eye upon the glass, I saw, strangely enough what looked like planets, stars and constellations, **_**within the ball.**_** They were rotating slowly amidst a cloud of stars; the closest I had ever seen something like it was a snow dome.**

**Petunia came running back to the room, "Well, Maman says…."**

**She stopped dead in her tracks, goggling at the ball.**

"**As you can see, he's not interested in Astrology like you," I said holding up the ball towards the light, so she could clearly see the stars. "More astro**_**nomy**_**, if you ask me."**

"**He- he gave you that?" Petunia exclaimed.**

"**Yup."**

"**He must be really rich!" she giggled nervously.**

**I nodded and resumed opening the packages. A green, leather-backed diary from Father. A rather nice pair of ballerinas from Maman-'dressy-up' shoes, I thought. An exquisite porcelain unicorn from Petunia (Ha-ha). A whole box of chocolates with crunchy fillings (YUM!) from Granny and Grandpaw. Birthday cards from classmates Sofia and Jess. And of course, a large chocolate cake dripping with dark icing…heaven.**

"**What a loot, pirate Evans," I grinned as I set to work. **

**The woods are bewitching at this time of the year, light ice lining the slender boughs. Even four months before, when the first miracle had happened…it had been a green world. Now it was turning wintry white, soft brown…the shades of winter.**

"**You shouldn't come here," Petunia protested as both of us trudged up the path, our breathing visible in cloudy puffs. "It's dangerous, there may be wild creatures….."**

**I grinned in reply. I had, with Herculean patience, convinced Petunia in accompanying me to the woods just before daybreak. It was bone-jarringly chilly, but I had an objective in mind and there was no letting go of my sister now.**

**After a long self-conference, I had decided to tell Petunia about my special abilities. It only seemed right. She was my **_**sister**_**, for heaven's sake…how long would I keep a secret as heavy as this one? Besides she was the elder of us two… surely she could give a logical reason for it, right?**

**We reached the brook, which had started to freeze now. Petunia looked hesitantly around her. "Where are we?" she asked nervously.**

"**Welcome to my world," I smiled. I had rehearsed this moment a long time in my mind-unfolding the secret to my elder sister. "Now listen, sister, I have something to tell you,"- why was I feeling so nervous?-"…This is a little, well, **_**odd**_** but you know I'm-um-I'm not like you and Maman and Father. Or anyone we know, for that matter."**

"**Lily-what the heck's going on?" Petunia asked, annoyed. "What are you **_**talking**_** about?"**

**I didn't say anything. Simply rose my palm, clenched my fist and concentrated. This time it was much faster.**

**In all the years that have passed I have seen nothing like the expression on Petunia's face when I unfolded my fingers, revealing the lily on my palm. She gasped, cupped her hands with her fingers, and stared stupidly-and who could blame her-at my palm.**

"**You see," I said. "I think it's magic."**

**And then. Then it happened. The beginning of my new life. (Well not exactly. The beginning would come at the breakfast table a week later. But it was certainly the end of my old life.) **

**Petunia's face became dark with anger and jealousy. "How'd you do that?" she asked softly.**

"**I told you, I think it's ma…."**

**SLAP! She smacked my palm, wrenching off the lily, her face livid with anger. "YOU'RE A FREAK!" she screamed. "I'LL TELL MAMAN! I'LL TELL **_**EVERYBODY,**_** YOU EVIL LITTLE THING! HOW DARE YOU! **_**HOW DARE YOU!**_**"**

**Scared, I retreated a step. "But Petunia….."**

"**I knew it," she snarled. "I tried to tell them. They wouldn't believe me. But now they will. They'll **_**have **_**to."**

**I turned my back on her and ran. Not because I was scared but because I didn't want my parents to find me-if she indeed told them.**

"**WHERE'RE YOU GOING?" she cried, chasing me. "LILY! COME BACK! YOU FREAK, COME BACK AT ONCE!"**

**A movement behind the trees. Both of us stopped, taken aback. Someone stepped out from behind a tall willow.**

"**There's no coming back, now. She is where she belongs."**

**Petunia stepped back scared. But I wasn't. "Severus!" I cried. "I haven't seen you for **_**days**_**!" **

**He looked at me and smiled. "I was away, Lily."**

"**Oh, so **_**you**_**'re Lily's freakish friend, right?" Petunia asked.**

"**Yes. I'm Severus Snape," Sev said, bending over and pulling a blade of grass from the ground.**

"**How can you**_** bear **_**with her?" Petunia said. "Do you know she's a FREAK?! She knows magic! She's abnormal!"**

**Severus gingerly pressed the blades of grass between his fingers. I looked anxiously at him for his answer.**

"**Well." he said finally. "If knowing magic is freakish, then I guess I…."**

**He didn't say anything else, only released the blades held in place by his fingers. To Petunia's amazement-and mine-the blades flitted through the air-like butterflies-coming to rest upon my palm slowly.**

**Petunia gave a scream and fled. I gazed after her retreating figure till she vanished, then turned slowly and faced my friend.**

"**If knowing magic is freakish, then I guess I'm a freak too," he said, grinning at me.**

**I grinned back. "You're welcome, Sev."**


	5. The Freak at Evans' Place

-5-

_**I stared, gulping, as the great boa constrictor slithered free of its great glass case, curling majestically out of its rather humiliating prison. It snaked-literally so-through the great passageway, making straight for freedom.**_

"_**AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" the scream resounded through the hallway. Dudley who was peering ghoulishly tumbled straight into the murky bottom of the boa's enclosure. **_

"_**Ruddy HELL!" screamed Uncle Vernon. **_

_**The great reptile slunk towards the door. As it was about to leave, it turned and looked at me, gratitude in its scaly eyes.**_

"**Thankssssss," **_**it hissed. **_

**Petunia was looking awful. She sat directly across from me, looking sullen. It had been like this since seven months before. Her long silences, stupid claims of not wanting to eat and passionate fits of crying. I had given up trying to reason with her. Seriously.**

**It had all started with the letter at the breakfast table. We had just started with toast, when with a screech and an immense thud; a beautiful tawny owl came flying into the kitchen. It had dropped an envelope upon my plate, opening which I found a letter written on parchment-**_**parchment,**_** not paper. Upon the top-left corner, I found a coat of arms comprising of a lion, a serpent, a badger and an eagle holding a massive shield-emblazoned with an enormous 'H'. The letter read:**

_**Dear Miss Evans,**_

_**We are pleased to inform you that you have secured a place in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We have received information that you are performing extensive underage magic. Now at Hogwarts you shall learn to use magic **_**properly **_**not just as an exciting plaything. Magic can be perilous when used without precautions. Seeing as to how you are a first-year, you shall have to collect your school-robes, cauldron and your wand from Diagon Alley before the 1**__**st**__** of September, when you shall board the Hogwarts Express from platform 9^3/4, Kings' Cross Station.**_

_**Yours truly,**_

_**Albus Peruvical Wulfric Brian Dumbledore**_

**There were a lot of titles under his name like Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, Supreme Mugwump….. things I had never heard of. But the moment I read it, I believed in it completely unlike my family. ("**_**What**_** have people come to nowadays?"). The reason for this was a conversation I had had with Severus a month back.**

"**You don't say!?"**

"**I swear, Lily. My mom had studied there too. There **_**is **_**a wizarding school. It's called Hogwarts."**

"**Hogwarts?" I imagined a diseased boar, covered with foul green pustules, and made an exaggerated retching noise. **

**He smiled." It's not like that Lily. It's beautiful. There's a big castle and huge, sweeping grounds…and some brilliant teachers."**

"**You've been there?"**

"**Oh no, but I've heard of it. And seen the pictures too. Mom told me it's the best school you can afford to go to. And now with Dumbledore as Headmaster…."**

**He went on to tell me about Dumbledore, the grandfatherly old wizard heading the castle, a game that sounded like Kwidich, ("It's no fun to me, but you'll enjoy it, I think.") and the four houses where the kids were sorted into. It all seemed like a beautiful story he'd made for me, but then he told me something shocking, something completely unexpected. **

"**Of course, you're eleven now," he said quietly. "You'll get **_**your**_** letter soon."**

"**What?" I admit I was stumped.**

**He leaned in close so I could see myself in his shining black eyes. "You're a witch, Lily. And once magic enters your blood, it'll never get out."**

**And so here I was, gazing at the letter in my hands-a tiny parchment ready to decide the course of my life.**

**Maman and Father took it very well. When it was inevitable to them that … well, their daughter wasn't like others; they accepted the fact for the better and rejoiced at my unusual talents. They made me do the flame thing so many times that my palm became sweaty and the little flame slid of my palm onto Maman's dress, scorching her-and putting the whole thing to a stop. At least, temporarily.**

**It was Petunia who was the sole weed in our garden. Sulky and dark, she crabbed at me with increased fervor nowadays. When I was around, she looked like a depressed zombie.**

"**Give her some time," Maman said. "She'll obviously feel left out.''**

**Which was all right….but why become cranky and mean? It wasn't my fault, was it, that she didn't have those powers and stuff? The least she could do was ignore it. Which she didn't. She went out of her way to be rude to me. I found 'freak' written all over my books and even on the walls. And while I ignored it most of the times, there were times when I thought that jinxing my elder sister wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. These moments were quickly replaced with guilt. How could I think such when I may have been in her place? A huge privilege had been extended to me, to us. I was in no position to exploit it. **

**And so, when I found my favorite novel had been marked by a gigantic ''LILY THE FREAKY", I simply rubbed it off.**

"**I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Ravenclaw or Slytherin," Sev said.**

**I rolled over to face him. We were lying on a beautiful primrose covered hill a bit away from Spinners' End. The sun shone warm and mellowy on our faces. It was all calmness and quiet (if you did not mind the occasional squirrel). **

**I had left behind a peaceful family at Evans' Place. (Maman and Father had been reading some correspondence. Petunia was at one of her Tea-Party Girls' place.) Ickling to ask Severus whether he had got his acceptance letter as well, I had hopped on my bicycle, rode over to Sev's gate (where I got the happy news that he **_**had**_** received the letter), did a victory waltz and then rode him upto this hill.**

**I had also meticulously memorized the names of the four houses- Slytherin (green!), Gryffindor (the lions), Ravenclaw (the brainiacs' place) and Hufflepuff- the simple and sweet (Sev told me-in a moment of inspiration-that this was the last house he wanted to be sorted into).**

"**I'd be in Slytherin," he observed, letting a shower of primrose petals slip through his fingers. "My mother….now she too was in Slytherin."**

"**And me?"**

**Severus sat up and stared at me. "You?" **

"**What do you think I'll get?"**

**He stared thoughtfully at the sky. "You're brave," he said at last. "You could make it to Gryffindor. Then, since you're so sweet-"**

"**I'm not!"**

"**Are too. Anyway"-Severus continued with a smile, "there's a chance of your getting Hufflepuff then. Or Ravenclaw…because you're intelligent."**

**I wasn't listening to him anymore….because in my mind I was envisioning something else-me, in billowing black robes, with a curved light brown wand in my hand (Severus had told me the wand-maker at Diagon Alley was called Ollivander). And with this delightful thought came another, horrible, nightmarish one: what if all this was not meant for me? What if it was only for the selected few-who had magic in their lineage, their blood ('purebloods'-Sev had told me they were called)? I was the daughter of two non-magic people; their idea of magic was the-bunny-and-the-hat type tricks. What if I was not entitled to all this? Severus was saying something. I looked at him.**

"**Sorry?"**

**He frowned. "What are you thinking of?"**

"**Oh, nothing….Sev, does it make any difference?"**

"**What does?"**

"**Being a Muggleborn. That's what you call non-magic people, Muggles, isn't it? Does it make a difference, being a Muggleborn?"**

**Sev only looked down at his hands. Finally he said, "No, it doesn't. It doesn't at all, although some would like to pretend otherwise."**

**Relieved, I resumed collecting primroses, gathering them in a bunch. **

"**Um…Lily?"**

"**Mmhm?"**

"**So…..which house would you like to be in?"**

"**Slytherin," I replied confidently.**

**We both stared at each other and started laughing.**

**That was the first time I realized how it could be between the two of us.**


	6. Of Cleansweeps and Cats

-6-

**I was up, washed, dressed and ready by four,**_** four!**_**-for the big day, namely- the day I was to be formally established as a witch. The day of my dreams.**

**Today, today we'd go to Diagon Alley. The place where I'd get my wand and books, and some other stuff too.**

"**COME ON! LET'S GO!" I exclaimed impatiently rapping on my parents' door.**

"**Ok," Father said.**

**It was nine in the morning, when the four of us stood at Charing Cross Road. In Father's hand was a letter, a letter from Hogwarts, which gave detailed instructions about the whereabouts of Diagon Alley. A wall jostled between a bookshop and record-shop, three bricks down, two across. Ta-da! Diagon Alley, open before you! **

**Charing, at this time of the day, was crowded and bustling. People walked by scores and dozens, blissfully unaware of the events going on in the midst of all this. It had been mentioned in the letter, **_**Muggles can't see anything magical.**_** A hidden market-place, the den of wizard folk. A young girl, on her way to her destiny.**

_**Lily Evans, you have a place at Hogwarts.**_

**Father looked around; rather embarrassed. "I'm going to tap now."**

**Maman sighed. "Just do it."**

**So Father did. Tap, I mean. I held my breath praying frantically. **_**Not a joke please**_**…**

**And then. Then the bricks started sliding slowly away. Like a trapdoor. A thin ray of light revealed an archway with a sign-"WELCOME TO DIAGON ALLEY".**

**Maman gasped. Dropped her bag on the pavement. Behind me, Petunia and Father were speechless.**

"**It's there."**

**I nodded. "Let's go."**

**I'll never forget that first glimpse of Diagon Alley.**

**It was….well, magical. Shops after shops after shops, selling things we'd never heard of-bat spleens and Lethe water and Cleansweep racing brooms (racing**_** brooms**_**!). Long aisles lined with magical stuff, carpets and charms and magic sweets **

**And oh, the people. They wore robes, long and colorful, turquoise, blood red and lavender and walked briskly, in a sharp business-kind of way-some were just plain shopping though. Some even wore pointy hats. There were many children my age, and by the way they clutched their parents' hands nervously and stared at everything with wide- eyed amusement, I could tell that they were my soon to be co-first years at Hogwarts. Petunia and I raced ahead, goggling at everything. Behind us, Maman and Father lingered, staring at cages full of the animals permitted as pets at Hogwarts-owls with gold, tawny or snow-white feathers, regal Persian cats with gorgeous silky fur and twinkling eyes, sleek Siamese cats with velvet coats the color of cream and ginger cats with coarse fur, toads with skin that seemed to be made of yellow, red, green or dark jewels. **

"**You'll need a pet, Lily," Maman said, consulting the letter." Any one."**

**Petunia and I looked at each other and I could read the suppressed excitement in her black eyes. A wave of affection for my sister, her wide heart and goodness passed through me.**

"**You'll choose." I said to her. I could afford to be generous as well.**

**Eeylops Owl Emporium and Menagerie was a riot of hoots and meows and croaks, with owl feathers, cat fur and the usual mess littering the floor. The store was crowded today with several people crowded near the shelves.**

**The Menagerie sold not only cats, toads and owls but also the blackest, fattest rats I'd ever seen (Maman firmly refused to go near it), and very furry, ball-shaped adorable looking creatures called Puffskeins.**

"**Go ahead", I nudged Petunia. She grinned and walked towards the cats.**

**I had never seen so many, **_**many**_** cats in my whole wide life. White cats, brown cats, black cats, tabby cats, regal cats, puffball-type cats, cats with long silky tails, cats with wiry bodies, fat cats, big cats, playful cats and dirty cats. **

**Stroking the head of a contemplative tabby, Maman, an ardent cat-lover, exclaimed, "I wish we could buy **_**all**_** of them!" Petunia laughed while Father looked aghast.**

**I went behind a shelf which housed the Persian cats. Petunia was cradling a beautiful cat with long golden fur as smooth and glossy as shot silk and startlingly blue eyes. "Like it?"**

"**I love it!" I grinned. "Maman I'll have that one."**

**We went over to the counter but soon realized our first mistake. My parents had no wizarding money whatsoever, and we could see all the people at the counters paying either in silver or golden coins. When Father approached the thin old man who was probably the manager of the store, he remarked thoughtfully, "You'll have to get your money at Gringotts."**

"**Grin-what?" we said together.**

"**Gringotts Wizarding Bank. Just round the corner. A snow-white building. I'm reserving your order go and get your exchanges done quickly." **

**We stepped out and set for the south of Diagon Alley. Petunia mumbled, "Wizarding money! Next they'll say they have a separate ministry for government."**

**Little did we know that she would be proved right soon. **


	7. A vault among the Rocks

-7-

_**He took me to the counter and pulled out a photograph. "**_**Look."**

_**I did, and my breath caught in my throat. There they were- my family, flesh and blood, my own people whom I'd given up for others. Grinning, standing before Ollivanders'. Grandpaw- thin and pale, with handsome twinkling eyes. Grandma- ethereally beautiful with rippling black hair, lovely sapphire blue eyes and dimples. Aunt Petunia- slim and pink-faced with smoldering coal-black eyes-her father's- long black hair falling in ripples. And she.**_

_**Elfin-slim, fair and petite. Long gleaming, crimson-red hair, the velvety color of roses. Full, rosy-red lips. Deep dimples. Unblemished skin the color of cream and peaches. And those beautiful, sparkly, aqua green eyes, ringed by twin frames of deep-forest green. My eyes, but much larger, more beautiful, brighter. **_

_**My lovely, lovely mother.**_

"_**Well?"**_

_**I blinked back the moist from my eyes. Stared at the old, frail man. "Can I keep this?"**_

"**Your vault number is four hundred and nineteen."**

**I snapped out of my reverie. "Eh-?"**

**The goblin sighed. "Miss Evans, money to be deposited in 419."**

**Petunia seemed excited, "Could we see it."**

"**Certainly." He bowed. "This way, if you please."**

**We'd been for about twenty minutes at Gringotts. It was the most wonderful, **_**enchanting**_** place I'd ever been to. The long passage led to a hallway lined by gilded tables on which were piled mountains of paper and coins. Enormous cut-glass chandeliers swooped down decorated by crystal drops. But the most curious of all were the workers….they were goblins! Maman grew faint seeing their squashed-in and wrinkly faces. They were solemn, serious creatures (Severus had said they possessed a criminal cunning) and talked in smooth, respectful tones. It was my first brush with creatures of the tales!**

**Our goblin, attired in a blue pinstriped suit, led us to an elevator styled passage where there was a large wooden sleigh-like structure. **

"**Do we-?" Petunia seemed apprehensive. "Do we sit on this?"**

"**Yes."**

**We did. The goblin pressed a button and the sleigh moved forward on iron tracks, like the rides in the Spring Carnival. We moved forward into the dank, dark passage-buckled to our seats. The walls were made of rocks and there were creepy sounds miles below (yes, my vault was **_**underground**_**). Then, just as we came over a steep height, the sleigh plunged down.**

**The air blew into our clothes, filling them like balloons. Petunia and I screamed with horror, grabbing Maman who in turn grabbed the goblin (who, to his credit, didn't grab Father). The sleigh went down, then up, then down yet again till I felt violently sick. Thus, it was with great relief that we eyed the gold floor far below.**

"**Vault no. 419."**

**We gazed up at the large, embossed door standing in the dark passage.**

"**And this is your key."**

**Father took the key hesitantly. Our goblin walked up to the door. "Give that to me."**

**We watched with bated breath as he inserted the key into the star-shaped hole. There was an ugly, squelching noise (kind of like that time when Marc Taylor of my class had squashed a rat) and then the door swung open.**

**We peeped in. **

**The vault was HUGE. It had dark green walls of a jade-like material. There was a single glittering crystal shower above our heads.**

"**Come."**

**A raised platform had been placed in the middle. Mr. Goblin(seriously, what **_**was**_** his name?) extended his hand towards Maman. She hesitated, then placed the red pouchful of coins to be exchanged in his leathery palm.**

"**Uh…..Maman?" Petunia said. She was looking a bit faint. "Could I go outside…please?"**

"**Sure! Lily, accompany her, baby."**

"**I'm no baby…" I mumbled. I hadn't wanted to go, I'd wanted to watch the transactions. But I reluctantly followed my sister outside to the glistening corridors.**

**A drowsy-looking goblin sat at a corner, drinking something out of a plastic mug.**

"**What's that noise?" Petunia inquired fearfully. A low rumbling in the distance came to our ears.**

"**Dragons they be." It was the sleepy goblin. "Dragons to protect them' vaults."**

"_**Dragons? **_**You keep **_**dragons**_** down here!?" **

"**Yesh."**

**While Petunia stared, positively goggle-eyed- I let my mind wander.**

_**Severus**_**.**

**He had promised to accompany me to Diagon Alley. We had made shopping lists together, ("You'll need a pewter cauldron for Potions class but the cauldrons at Potage's aren't really up to the standard!") discussed wands and wand woods ("What do you think? Sycamore? Rosewood?") and even made plans for what to do once we got there("But not exploring the dungeons, please!"). I'd been sure, very sure that he'd accompany me on my BIG day…..but he hadn't come. **

**I mentally relieved the scene today morning. We'd waited outside his home at Spinners' for about an hour before someone finally stepped out. **

**Not Severus. But his mother. A fragile-lady with stringy, greasy hair and pale grey eyes. "I'm very sorry but I'm afraid…."**

**Her silence had spoken more than words. **

**Petunia had said, "I wonder how she knows that we were about to ask him to escort us? For that matter-does she know-"she had turned to me-"that you're….?"**

**A good point. I'd definitely not thought that up on the spot. I only knew that she was a witch…perhaps she was a mind-reader too?**

**Maman emerged. Father too. They were carrying the pouch, now bulging. "Time for said cat! And your **_**waaaaand**_**!" Petunia sang.**

**My mind, warped as it was with these thoughts, reverted back to Gringotts. I looked at Petunia's face- glowing with delight. I remember her like that when I think of her now- a girl with long beautiful blue-black hair, excitement in her eyes a fresh, shining black. I remember mentally chiding myself for occupying my thoughts with Severus on a day like this…**_**my**_** day, for **_**myself.**_** I also remember with shocking clarity the immediate guilt and regret that swallowed these thoughts. Severus **_**was**_** a part of me…**

**Even back then. And after all those days….**


	8. Willow and Glass

-8-

"_**As long as I knew her…she had golden hair. Like kind of caramel-gold. And very thin…"**_

"_**Then she dyed it. It's a pity. She had stunning black hair. Rich bluish-black, like a Caucasian princess. Then again Petunia didn't really have a high opinion of herself."**_

_**We were sitting upon black leather sofas in the old, dilapidated porch. He bent over his rusty mug, sipping some of the blackest coffee I've ever had. "If you ask me, what happened to her in the following years was as much my fault as her parents."**_

"_**Sorry?" I'm losing track…**_

_**He sighs. "I was the catalyst that day that triggered off those feelings of hers. But your mother held herself responsible. She always did."**_

_**She always did. Indeed.**_

"**I'm going to call her Mimi, what do you think?"**

"**Nice."**

**Petunia and I sat on a bench outside Eeylops', while our parents paid the money to the old shopkeeper. In my arms reposed the beautiful, newly-named Mimi, purring contently. We were watching the passers-by, brisk, quiet and excitable. Petunia fingered the large basket with the azure silk-lining (for Mimi). "What's left on the list?"**

**I consulted the list. "The cauldrons, the robes and the wand." **

"**Mmmm…."**

"**Girls?"**

**We looked up. It was Maman and Father. Father seemed utterly bewildered by the proceedings. Poor him. "So are we going to this Pottery-no…."**

"**Potage's?" I enquired helpfully.**

"**Yes, yes Potage's," he motioned us forward. "Keep up," he urged Maman. "You don't want to be left behind in **_**this**__**place**_**…."**

**They hurried on, but I lingered behind, grinning. It just struck me now that while to Father and Maman it was only 'this place'; to me it was a world where I finally felt accepted. Not a freak, just a normal eleven- year old. I caught my reflection in the glass of Potage's as I neared the dark brown building. Slim, somewhat average height for a girl of my age. Crimson hair. Green eyes. I shook back a stray curl and hurried along behind them.**

"**Now there's no mistaking which's the witch, eh?"**

**A thin raspy voice that reminded me of bamboo reeds greeted us at the door of the dingy red building that was Ollivander's.**

**Gradually, my eyes made out an extremely thin, extremely old-was **_**old**_** the word?….no, it was more like ancient-an ancient old man hunched at the back of an enormous pile of velveteen royal-blue boxes. **

**I took him in carefully. He could have been anywhere from sixty to two-hundred. Decrepit. Like a fossil. Behind the clouds of snowy white hair and beard, I detected two sharp hazel eyes.**

"**Witchy little one….come here," he beckoned to me. Ollivander seemed to realize which sister had the magic.**

**And which didn't.**

"**How did he…..**_**know**_**?" Maman whispered urgently. I nodded my head while shrugging. No idea.**

"**We've come to get a wand for the younger one only. Lily, go forward…choose one. But keep in mind the price, please." Father dictated in an authoritative manner. **

**The old man, Ollivander roared with laughter. "Choose? What will she choose?"**

**We stared, utterly befuddled. It occurred to me then, that perhaps a man with a name like OLLIVANDER couldn't be totally-well, sane.**

**He sat up now, a twinkle in those old eyes. "It's the**_** wand **_**that chooses the wizard or witch, not the other way around, dear people."**

**We stood like morons, staring at him, until he burst into laughter and said, "Here, little redhead. This way." He stretched out his hand. I stood for a while, wondering whether he wanted me to take it. Then Maman coughed discreetly and I complied.**

**The two of us, Ollivander and Evans Jr., set off towards the rooms at the back of the store. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Petunia staring unseeingly at the street.**

**We were in a storeroom. I knew this because of the poor lighting and the dusty mothballs-and-old-fur-smell that one only gets in a storeroom. There were shelves and shelves of cardboard boxes, almost falling apart with age and neglect.**

"**Here we go."**

**I looked up. Ollivander was atop a rolling ladder, the kind not uncommon in stores back at our Spinners' End. He was really taller than I had guessed from his slouch. While walking, he had a dignified military carriage.**

"**So, your sister is utterly normal..I guess? I mean, there isn't really any magic in her, is there?"**

**I did not reply. I watched his slender, almost womanly fingers tinker with the boxes. Troubled by his question.**

**Ollivander climbed down, and shuffled away. After a while I saw him return. "Okay, let's get your wand now."**

**Finally.**

**We moved to the back room. This one had a weird aura-like feeling about it. I knew it as soon as I stepped within. My veins seemed to understand it. The walls were made of a clear, sheer purple crystal. There was a huge chandelier(the second time in the day that I was staring at a shower of droplets), and the shelves were made of an elegant, dark-colored wood. Not only that, even the boxes on the shelves were lined with the same royal blue color I'd seen earlier. **_**This is it**_**, I thought excitedly.**

"**Now there, redhead."**

**He suddenly gave me a gentle push into the room. I was standing directly underneath the shower.**

**For a while, nothing happened. **

**Then I heard it.**

**A rumbling. Somewhere close.**

**I looked around fearfully.**_** And now what?**_

**Suddenly, I saw that one of the shelves was shaking. A real serious shake, like a quake. The boxes began tumbling out one by one. Looking at the old man, I found him as calm and composed as if I had just swatted at a bug, and not seen his goods spill out. **

**A box came flying at me. "Take it, miss!" he screamed. "It's your wand!"**

**I grabbed at it expertly. The shaking stopped as weirdly as it had started.**

**Together, we peeled off the lining and slid the box open. There was a long, sleek black wand lying amidst wads of paper. Its hilt was made of a mosaic of multicolored stones. It was shimmery and beautiful.**

"**10 and ¾, willow, hmm…surprisingly swishy." He handed it to me. "Very good for charms."**

**Holding the wand to my face, I saw a thousand little Lily-s staring back at me. With each of the gold, amber, green, blue or magenta pieces- I saw my hair and eyes change their color. I felt the wood. Silky soft. He had probably polished the willow hard.**

**Ollivander smiled at me. "And finally, you're a witch. Officially. How does it feel?"**

"**Like it was the best day ever!" I grinned up at him.**

"**She is going to reach the stars, you mark my words."**

**We were back in the front room. Petunia and Maman were inspecting the wand. Father was talking to Ollivander and it was the latter that made this comment. I stood in between, mopping my sweat.**

"**What makes you say so?"**

"**Well-" the old man stared at me. "Her wand has a phoenix feather core."**

"**Has a what?"**

"**Core made from the feather of a phoenix. It is an extremely rare core, which means she has great potential within her. I think you should be proud of her."**

**Maman smiled. "We're plenty proud of our baby."**

"**I'm no baby."**

**The elders smiled indulgently at this, but my sister's smile came out rather forced. Petunia had again turned grouchy. **

"**Let's go…I'm tired." She pulled Maman towards the door.**

**I turned around to get a last glimpse of the old man before the door jangled shut. And once again we were out on Diagon.**

**As we walked towards the exit of the lane, I saw someone in the crowd. Very familiar. Waves of dark hair. And a familiar gait.**

"**SEVERUS!" I screamed, running towards him. "Sev!"**

**Maman held me back. "Do stop screaming, Lily!" she scolded, her eyes darting around nervously. "Who knows what the people here are like?"**

"**Severus…"I pleaded. "He was there… right ahead of us. In there!" I pointed towards a dark lane. It proclaimed "Knockturn Alley" in big gilded letters.**

"**MAMAN! Please!" Petunia stamped her foot. Father stared at both of us. Finally he said "Alright. Lily, you'll see him later, is that clear? There shall be no screaming on the way. I repeat-NONE AT ALL." His eyes bore into Petunia's, who shrank back in fear.**

**We walked back in silence. All along the drive home, I kept thinking of him. It **_**was **_**him, this much I knew perfectly. Hadn't his mother said so herself…that he was unable to come? Well, actually she hadn't; her sentence had ended halfway. But what could he have in that seedy-looking lane?**

**My thoughts interlaced together to create a mindless mish-mash of colors and sounds until finally I felt my eyes closing in exhaustion.**

"_**I didn't know she had a phoenix feather too."**_

_**He nodded "She did indeed. It was one of my finer wands."**_

"_**She was really concerned about her best friend and her sister."**_

"_**Indeed. She was a mature little thing and knew who needed exactly what kind of support. Motherly."**_

_**I fingered the wand in silence. The little pieces had chipped off and broken in several places. I placed one eye close to the mosaic and tried to imagine my mother's reflection staring back at me. But she didn't.**_

_**There was only broken glass and a shattered reflection. **_

_**And only one person was responsible for it.**_

_**Me.**_


	9. A sister and a friend

-8-

**A big stone castle. Sweeping meadows. Jade hills. Several thousands of students in flowing, dark uniforms. **

**Among them, a young redhead and her dark-haired friend. Both twirling wands. **

**Suddenly, the iron gates shut with a clang. The sky covers with velvety black clouds, and I see someone. A thin, tall man, his eyes glowing an eerie ruby color. He reaches out and then I see his hands…skeletal, pearly white and thin.**

"_**I'll save you for the end…"**_** he rasps. He lowers his hood.**

**I woke up, with the taste of blood on my tongue. The calendar fluttered over Petunia's head.**

**It was September 1****st****.**

"**You'll be alright."**

**I was shivering. From the tips of my toes to the roots of my hair, I was an unhealthy blue-gray, like a drowned person.**

**Maman was standing beside me. Her hand was encased in my own, the latter being covered in a sweaty mess.**

"**We have to run through that pillar. On the count of three, okay Lily?"**

**My nod came out more like a shiver. My nerves were as frazzled as the loose threads on my fur coat, now safely packed within my trunk, along with wand, robes, books, cauldrons, and all that was needed to keep an eleven year-old witch happy at Hogwarts.**

_**Witch. I am a witch.**_

**Petunia was standing further away. Her face was about as ill-colored as mine. **

"**Beware the freak, mother," she called, sneering at me. I looked away.**

**My sister, ever since that trip, that fateful trip to Diagon…treated me like a pest. She shut me out from her world, refusing to talk to me or even pass me the bread or the salt at suppertime. I tried to talk to her. Pretended to not care. Cried. But nothing seemed to matter to her. She enjoyed making me feel miserable for something I was born with. Something that I would have been proud of, a beautiful gift-had it not acquired a monstrous shape and size through her words and expressions. I hated my sister. And it was not the momentary loathing I felt during our silly spats. It was beyond that. It was a white-hot rage that made me bite my tongue and hope she left before I hurt her. My reasoning, patience, and conciliatory efforts had all come to this. I wanted to slap her like she often hit me-when I touched her precious dolls, when I tried to swing a bit higher than her, when I waded into forest-streams, when I held out the lily on my palm.**

**When I tried to live life my own way.**

**It took me all my patience to swallow my rage, and turn back to face Maman. She was looking worried. "Tuney, darling come here. We're about to go in!"**

**Petunia walked up slowly, deliberately kicking up dust bunnies from the murky tiles of King's Cross Station. "Huh. Betcha I had other things to do. Better things."**

"**You know what?" I spat at her. "Why don't you just go squeak your silly doll? Or play with the tea-party group i.e. Leave me alone."**

"**Lily!" Maman was shocked. Not expected from her baby.**

**Petunia walked forward slowly, deliberately, till her nose was an inch from my own. "I hate freaks."**

"**So do I," I retorted. Trying bravely not to cry. "Selfish ones."**

"**Girls." Maman begged. "Please."**

**All this time Father had been standing a little way apart from us. He came to us now. "Look," he said.**

**We followed his finger to a young, nervous looking-couple standing by the pillar we were supposed to run into. They had a girl-my age- with them. The father was tall, probably taller than Father-who was the tallest man I'd ever seen. He was really handsome, with curly black hair, pale skin and light, milky green eyes. (Those cloudy green orbs now fixed upon me and I turned away) The mother was also very beautiful-with silky straight brown hair and water-blue eyes. But what really marked them out from the rest of the crowd was….they were carrying a bronze cage, and within the cage were the same cuddlesome balls of fur I had seen at Diagon, on that fateful day. Puffskeins. Also, I could see the tip of something like a wand, sticking out from the girl's pocket.**

"**They're…"my father whispered. "**_**…that."**_

"**Yup." Petunia whispered. "Freak family."**

"**Let me catch you saying that one more time, young lady," Maman began. I simply ignored my sister. Crabby idiot, I felt, and almost immediately felt guilt sting me.**

**The family looked left, right, and then left again. They drew in their breaths, so did we. We followed them to the pillar.**

"**Oh dear," Maman said. "I feel like a spy."**

**And then suddenly, **_**suddenly,**_** the family ran straight into the pillar. Into it! And lo! They were gone.**

"**Whoa."**

**I turned to face Father. "Are you ready, Lily?" he asked.**

"**You bet I am," I said.**

**We stood before the pillar. Father took my hand tightly. Behind us, Maman did the same with Petunia. I felt the nerves again.**

"**Okay," Father said. "On the count of three. One….."**

_**This is a dream….wake up…..wake up….**_

"**Two…."**

_**Futile, wild dream…Lily, your imagination's **_**wild.**_** Wake up….wake up….**_

_**Wake up…**_

_**Wake up…**_

"**Freak," Petunia whispered.**

_**This is not a dream…this is my destiny. I was made for this**_**.**

"**Three!" I cried and drove into the pillar. And when it shimmered and opened for me, I was absolutely ready. Ready because I knew. I knew that it would. I remembered someone saying once magic enters your blood, it never leaves.**

**I also remembered, with a pang of pain, who the speaker was.**

**But not ready enough for the sight that greeted my eyes.**

**The station was huge. HUGE. Along the squeaky-clean platform were assembled children, parents, old, wrinkled-looking men, a few men and women wearing purple and gold robes. The air had a light, pleasant, flowery smell about it. I counted about a hundred and thirty owls hovering above my heads. (Where did their droppings go? Collected and cleaned regularly? By magic, perhaps?)Plus, any number of well-fed cats and toads with lovely, coppery eyes. In her silk-tissue lined kingdom, Mimi eyed everyone warily. I pushed my fingers within and stroked her pretty fur.**

"**Would you look at that now?" enquired Father. Maman was speechless, simply swallowing in the beauty of it all.**

**The train that was meant to take us was huge, spotless and scarlet with silver decorations. Even from outside, I could guess it was luxurious- chandeliers, a sumptuous bar-car kind of thing, plus a lady billing food along the length of the train. I saw Petunia give it a listless glance, then pull away.**

"**See, isn't it nice, honey?" Maman asked her. Little did she know it added fat to the fire.**

"**Weird and extravagant. I'd rather a normal train."**

"**Tuney," I kept my voice flat, but she was sparking a fire of the dangerous type within me. I remembered the walnut on her head, the piercing feeling in my own eyes. I needed to be calm. "Tuney, I think we need a second together."**

"**Huh?"She was taken by surprise.**

"**We should talk."**

**But before I got a word out, a big-make that gigantic-man came bumbling towards us, long shaggy beard and beetle-black eyes.**

"**Ye be Evans?"He asked. **

"**Yes."**

"**Then come along," he bumbled and walked along. Petunia bit her lip.**

"**Look," Maman said, her eyes flashing jewel-blue as she gazed up at the orbs of shimmering light above our head. We did, and gasped in reflex pleasure. The orbs were actually clusters of fairy-like creatures with extremely thin, beautiful bodies. They were playing musical instruments of gold, and scattering little crystal petals around the platform-the cause of the fragrance, I realized.**

**When I looked down, I saw Petunia's eyes were glimmering with tears. "Tuney…" I begged.**

**But it sounded like self-pity. And however I tried, that wouldn't be corrected.**

**Lugging in three trunks and one basket into the near-empty compartment, I slumped down by the window, looking out to the platform. My vision was blurred with tears.**

**My sister hated me. My fault. It was always my fault.**

"**Lily?"**

**My breath felt raspy, and my heart plummeted wildly. With stone-hard will, I turned to face him.**

"**Hi, Severus," I said.**

**I may have smiled through my tears that day.**


End file.
